“A crucible for silver and a furnace for gold, but the LORD tests the heart.” Proverbs 17:3

WHAT IS TRUE FREEDOM?

Our modern culture has an incorrect definition of freedom. Many believe freedom is the absence of constraint. “As long as our actions are not harmful to others,” they say, “as long as it’s between consenting adults, we should be free to do what we want.”

The problem is that we all have a different definition of what is “harmful.” Christians recognize that there are certain actions that not only harm others, but are harmful to ourselves… and that offends God. God is disgusted with anything that hurts us, even if that hurt is self-inflicted. So, God set rules and boundaries in our lives to help us understand what is good and bad. We call these bad things: sin.

By God’s standards, freedom is not being able to do whatever we want, but rather being free to do what is good. So while constraint feels like slavery, like not being free, constraint is actually freedom… freedom from being a slave to the self.

Recent studies show that the self-esteem movement was a colossal failure. While the principals in outdated psychology books are often perpetuated in the counseling office, people who try to “self-talk” themselves out of depression and anxiety usually fail. The problem with self-talk is we are often lying to ourselves. I can tell myself that I am smart and rich and people like me, but what if that is not true? What if, in this point on the path of life, I have been unwise and acted foolishly against my family or friends. What if I have been wasteful with my time and money? What if I have spoken harshly toward my boss and coworkers? Should I then continue to tell myself these “truths”’ about who I am?

I take similar issue with the name-it-and-claim it movement. I can ask the LORD to expand my territory, but what if that is not God’s will for me? What if I am asking for more out of a greedy heart? What if pride is ruling my thoughts? Should I demand that God grant me favor in a certain situation? What if I’m wrong?

“A crucible for silver and a furnace for gold, but the LORD tests the heart.” Proverbs 17:3

THE TYRANNY OF THE SELF

I don’t know about you, but as someone who lives in the United States of America, I have less problems from oppressive laws or governing bodies and more problems from the tyranny of the self. I find I am often a slave to my own desires. My desires, my cravings, wanting to get my own way, these are the true tyrants in my life. I have problems with food. I’ve fallen into sexual sin. I’ve pushed for my own way and broken relationships. I’ve spent my money on the things I’ve wanted rather than the things I need, and the checkbook comes up short before the paycheck comes in.

I’m often a slave to what ever feels good in the moment. I would rather turn on the TV or look at my phone than wash the dishes after dinner. I do what feels good in the moment, but I end up feeling empty the next day when I realize I didn’t have any meaningful conversation with my husband or son and there is a sink full of dirty dishes. I didn’t get out and walk or do my morning exercises. I just let the time slip away and then I suffer regret.

At the end of their life, no one says I wish I had watched more TV or played more Candy Crush.

So what feels like freedom is actually slavery to my desires and constraint feels like slavery and yet brings freedom.

“There is a WAY that seems right to man, but in the end leads to death.” Proverbs 16:25

Being ruled by my desires has led to being obese, teenage pregnancy, and destroyed my first marriage. Rather than my desires bringing life, they brought death. What seemed right in the moment, ended up being harmful to myself and others.

When I bring my desires under the lordship of Christ, there is freedom. Choosing to restrain what I eat leads to life. Choosing to bring my sexual desires to my husband alone leads to life. Turning my phone on silent and leaving it in another room while I have my quite time leads to life. Choosing to drink herbal teas rather than another cup of coffee leads to life.

“The highway of upright avoids evil; he who guards his way, guards his life.” Proverbs 16:17

SELF-COMPASSION OVER SELF-ESTEEM

The self-esteem movement asks us to center everything on the locus of self. Christianity is centering everything of Christ and denying the self. Rather than focusing on some mystical internal compass, we focus on the love of God. The love of God compels us to obey him. Rather than “I love myself,” “I am loved by God.”  We don’t define our own truths. We cling to the truths God has said about us.

Rather than esteeming ourselves, we are compassionate with ourselves as God is compassionate with us.

I think people misjudge the concept of sin. They see sin only as something that offends God, but truly God’s boundaries are for our own protection. This is seen in what happens when we sin. If I sin, I feel bad. Even those who are not in Christ have a conscience. We feel bad. This feeling is supposed to lead us to repentance. I can try to push away the bad feeling without repentance, but I will just be lying to myself.

Secular psychology says all guilt is bad, but Christian psychology teaches that false guilt is not in line with God’s principals. We feel guilty about what we did wrong, we repent, and God forgives. False guilt extends beyond that moment in time and causes us to continue to condemn ourselves. Christ did not come to condemn the world but to save it. If God forgives us, we should receive the compassion he has shown us and be compassionate to ourselves.

Christian faith calls me to repent, to say I did wrong and then connect with the compassion of Christ who died for my sins. There is no need to continue to berate myself for that sin. Christ’s love covers it.

My confession in repentance is something like this:

LORD, I have sinned against you, my fellow man, and myself. I recognize that. Please forgive me. Please help me connect with your compassion. It is your kindness that led me to repentance. Help me break this cycle of self-harm and stay within the boundaries you have given me. Help me be compassionate with myself and keep my feet on the path of life. I don’t want to take the path that FEELS right, the path that leads to death. That way may feel innocent to me, so weigh my motives, LORD. Determine my course… I submit to the plans you have for me. You know what I need better than I do. Thank you for your sacrifice that has covered all my sins: past, present, and future. I rest in your love.

WEEKLY BIBLE MEDITATIONS

1. Psalms 27 – Psalms 27:1 “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?”
2. Proverbs 16:1-8 – Proverbs 16:2 “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”
3. Proverbs 16:9-25 – Proverbs 16:9 “In their heart’s humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
4. John 4:1-28 – John 4:29 29 ‘”Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?’” 
5. John 3:11-21 – John 3:20-21 “Everyone who does evil hates the light and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.”