Here is the question: If you had to pick a color for the season of life you are currently in, what would it be?

Most of the ladies shared that there were good and bad things in this season of life, but they felt they were OK, growing, cared-for…

They chose greens or blues…

The next day I received a text, “I’m craving AUTHENTICITY.”

She said, “I’ve been thinking about the tapestry, and the seasons of my life. All of them have been dark, or at least darkness was looming. There were years, a decade, of death and trauma, and then there were years of gray – my heart was hard as stone, and the lies chiseled on it were plenty… Then came the chiseling, the day broke, and God healed me of grief…”

EXPOSING THE DARKNESS

Being authentic means calling things as they are: Maybe the LORD has secured our lot. Maybe we are in a season of growth, greens and blues…

I too feel like I am in a season of growth. I feel like the light is breaking through and I can see the sky. But I also feel like ALL my life’s seasons have darkness looming.

Black, gray, midnight blue, these are my colors.

I, also, crave authenticity. What a great word: Let’s just be real.

The apostle Paul asked us to remember that we once “walked in darkness” but now we are “children of the light.” “The light makes everything visible,” even the things we would rather not be visible. He then entreats us to “expose the fruitless deeds of darkness.” Ephesians 5:1-11

Really? Expose all these dark colors? Is that what you want from me LORD?

BEING SEEN

Hagar was a maidservant who became the second wife of Abraham. We don’t know if she had a choice or if she went willingly into this arrangement. We do know that Hagar became pregnant, and it changed something: her attitude. She may not have had a choice about the marriage, but she did have a choice about how she treated Sarah, Abraham’s first wife. (Genesis 16)

Let’s just say she willingly entered into this arrangement. Hagar regretted her decision and felt that Sarah was to blame. So, Hagar despised her.

I’ve been this way. Something seemed like a good idea at the time, but once the deed was done, I immediately regretted my decision. Then the bitterness for those who led me down that path began to rise.

Why did I choose this path? What am I doing here? Have I completely lost my way?

Then I do exactly what Hagar did. I run.

Hagar ran to the desert and God met her there. The angel told Hagar that the LORD had heard of her misery. Her child would be against his brothers and conflict would characterize his future. It wasn’t great news. Hagar’s reaction to this news may seem strange. She said, “You are the God who sees me. I have now seen the ONE who sees me.”

Again, I can relate. I am often surprised to discover that God sees me. Whether I am suffering from the iniquity others have put on me OR suffering the consequences of my own actions, I often feel like no one sees me… sees my misery. Here is Hagar caught up in the dysfunctional family of Abraham. In this region, Sarah and Abraham were rich and famous. Hagar was probably feeling small and insignificant, but the LORD heard of her misery.

Do you know that God sees you? Do you know he sees everything: the good, the bad and the ugly? Are you suffering and no one knows?

Maybe you don’t fully understand the cause of your suffering… Maybe you brought it on yourself. Maybe someone abused you. Maybe both.

I often get caught up in who is to blame.

Right here, in this moment, stop trying to assign blame. Don’t even think about that darkness looming in your future, maybe your child’s future. For now, let’s focus on the fact that you and I are seen; Seen by the creator of the universe.

More then that, he sees your misery. He sees the things you would rather not look at. He sees the things you don’t want to put in the family photo album. He sees what is behind the fake, Instagram smiles.

God shone the spotlight on a pregnant slave girl crying in the desert. God helped her understand that he knew the family she was living was messed up. In the end, she and her son would be turned out like so much trash. God knew that. But he had a plan for her suffering. He would make Ishmael into a great nation. In the midst of weaving these dark colors into fabric of our lives, we must not fool ourselves into believing that God is absent.

HAS GOD ABANDONED ME?

The Psalmist, also, was struggling with this thought. He said, “Why, O LORD, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” In Psalms 10, he describes the one who was persecuting him: “He lies in wait to catch the helpless; His victims are crushed, they collapse; they fall under his strength.” The Psalmist is not trying to whitewash his season of trouble. The dark strands of this season of his life dominate his tapestry.

Can we just be real about the season we are in? Can we just admit that the dark is so dark it feels like God has abandoned us? Just for a moment?

We don’t have to stay here. We don’t have to put down roots, but let’s confess this to God, as did the Psalmist.

The Psalmist worked his way around… He said, “But you, oh God do see trouble and grief. You hear O LORD the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry.” Psalms 10

WE CRY OUT TO GOD… EXPOSE THE DARKNESS.

“Everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible.” Ephesians 5:13-14a

The women in the text went on, “God healed me of my grief… Still, the path was through the dark woods with just a glimmer of light, in the form of hope. For the first time, I could see the sky. Now there is freedom and hope and joy, although the darkness still surrounds me. I have learned to see through it, to not be afraid, and to keep walking the path. My life has been a constant battle against the darkness, a constant choice of choosing the light, no matter how dim at times, or succumbing to darkness. I think that is why I crave authenticity and truth. Darkness has no power in the light.”

LEAD ME ALONG WELL-LIT PATHS

“The path of righteousness is like the first gleam of dawn, shinning ever brighter till the full light if day.” Proverbs 4:18

LORD, Lead me along well-lit paths. The wicked do not know what makes them stumble. Their paths are as black as midnight, yet they continue. Shine a light on my path, LORD. Let me walk and not stumble. Give me the confidence to run. I want to walk the path that leads to life. Protect my way.

WEEKLY BIBLE READING MEDITATION

1. Genesis 16  – Genesis 16:13 “She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.'”

2. Ephesians 5:1-14 – Ephesians 5:11-13a “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. Everything exposed by the light becomes visible.”

3. Psalms 10 – Psalms 10:1-2, 4 “Why, Lord, do you stand far off?  Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? In his arrogance the wicked man hunts down the weak, who are caught in the schemes he devises. In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.”

4. Proverbs 4:1-12 – Proverbs 4:11-12 “I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble.”

5. Proverbs 4:13-19 – Proverbs 4:18-19 “The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.”